In thinking of how easy that mode of thinking and living can be..I am so greatful I have the Lord to lean on. Because my body can fail, medicine and treatments can just not work "this time". Doctors can try their best but are limited to what the medicine can do and what my body decides it can do...I understand this. I understand that if all else fails, the Lord never will. He can't. He just can't. It is not in Him. It is not like Him.
Now that I know those desperate and longing feelings all too well...I pray daily over myself..and the millions of women and men out there struggling with infertility. It isn't easy when you feel you have been betrayed by God or your body or the universe or whatever...it isn't easy because that kind of thinking is so carnal. Instead pray that God give you the strength to not just endure but walk THROUGH what He has willed for your life. I in no way mean to offend anyone and to say that being childless and struggling for years to have a child is in any way is something God made happen to/for you. I am not the one to say any such thing. To perceive how God works is beyond me, that is not my place. But, for me and my husband...we chose to see this as a bad that God can bring so much good out of. No matter what we have to go through in the meantime. Maybe it can bring one, just one person to Christ. Maybe it can bring hope to another couple in the same situation. Maybe it's just going to bring our faith and ministry into a whole other level..
There are a lot of "maybe's" in there...but the one certain-for-sure-no-doubt-in-my-mind fact is that God will come through for us. He always has...He has set that promise in our hearts, that we will be a mami and papi one day :) I can let God handle the rest...He is afterall...Lord of all..
"And so Lord, where do I put hope? My only hope is in you."-Psalm 39:7
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