I have to be honest...with as positive, hopefull and faithfilled I try to be throughout all of this..sometimes, it really can just knock you down. I never want to sit and harp on the negative or complain about things. I know there is still just so much we have to be greatful for..but it wouldn't be an honest depiction of what is going on if I wasn't....honest. Since Chris and I are still fairly new in working through each month dealing with infertility and what comes and goes, some days are just easier than others. And some days...are just plain hard.
As a woman of God, I dont pretend to sit behind the illusion that because I am a believer that I will never go through pain, God will always spare me and that everything will be perfect. God never said we wouldn't go through trials, but He did say He would be with us in the fire. I know God is there..and I know I have to decide on purpose each day to walk in His Word over my life. I have to trust that He truly is in control. He has not left us. He is in everything. As a woman of God, I cling to my true hope, peace & joy..and trust that He is with me
But when infertility gives way to new ways of living life and it affects a husband and a wife in every area imaginable, both together and as individuals...it's not always easy. Some days, failure & guilt sit at my side, and I don't know what to do but pray and hope that God pulls me out soon. And He always does. I know that we will have lows with all of this. I have prayed to God to do whatever He needs to for His will to be done. So that He will get all the Glory. So, I know we are victorious. I know God is here. I know that when I am weak, His love and grace flood me where I am...
God let me be broken only before you..Cover my husband and I with your mercy & favor..Show us your love. Help us to keep our eyes only on you and speak life into each other and our situation. We trust you. We love you. We wait on you..You are so faithful my God.
"Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory. They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength." -1 Corinthians 15:43
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