Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
the time has come...
I think the time has come..to start a new blog. While this blog has served its purpose well and been an amazing outlet for me, my life now is no longer about struggling or dealing with infertility/PCOS etc...because we are now expecting!
I have to give pause to my Jesus..and thank Him for his healing powers..there have been so many pivital moments throughout this journey that I feel truly impacted what miracle did occur.
Pastor Wayne Mancari annointed my head with oil, layed hands on me and prayed over me and my husband in a Sunday service. Nothing distracting. Just a hearfelt, personal prayer that echoes still...it was the only time I was annointed while being prayed over..and while I dont sit here to point out that it didnt happen more than once, I believe that maybe it only needed to happen once. His prayer was fervent, meaningful and true and I thank him for his kindness and willingness to step out in the gap for my husband and I.
When we announced our troubles trying to conceive to our youth group...we did it as a precourser to our blessing. We knew God would come through for us with a pregnancy, we knew this. And we wanted our kids, our youth group to know that prayer works. Even after that service itself several 6th, 7th and 8th graders came up to me and layed hands on me and prayed over me. The faith of these children has moved mountains in our lives...I believe their faith paved the way for this blessing...and we were so greatful to announce this past Sunday that their prayers DID work. We are pregnant. God does hear them. To see that awe and excitement in their eyes..not just for us, but because of what GOD can do...was...just amazing. We love our Mixers :)
Our faithful and loving friends and family who not only lifted us up in prayer but offered tangible support through their faith...we are so greatful. I never felt like I should keep our struggle to conceive a secret..I knew one day, whenever that day would be..that God would come through...and in that, in our blessing...others might also be blessed or encouraged..that's what counts. And in the sharing of the news with family and friends the encouragement was so refreshing..it really helped me on the days I was down....I love you all..from the deepest part of our hearts we are greatful for each of you.
One Sunday a guest speaker Sammy Rodriguez came and spoke a message that penetrated my mind so deep..I had to respond. I say my mind, because in that time..my heart was so weak...I needed it to hit me where I could wrap my brain around what he was saying..I needed to understand it all. I previously blogged about that Sunday and the Word he gave so I wont go in to the details now but...I have never heard the story of the raven and the dove in that way...and it had been so long since I had been on my face, weeping at the alter before God. The Lord did something in me that day..that was huge for me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that...I'm greatful. Greatful for it all, the good and the bad...God grew Chris and I in ways I had prayed for. He has blessed us with our deepest desire and I feel whole..I feel (honestly) sick to my stomach from the pregnancy but I rejoice even in my feeling physically sick :) Because there is life here...not just in the physical but the spiritual. Even in our struggles...in my personal struggles...I had joy & confidence and that cannot come from man or a doctor...God is my source and I just wanna give him all, all ALL the GLORY...
I will leave this blog...I will remember this blog...I will miss it. But--there is a new journey to be written of and I can't wait to start...the two have become three...and we are excited as ever....I will post the link to my new pregnancy/baby/life blog once I have it....
The end of this blog is bittersweet...I leave with good memories of how God has strengthened me...and with gratitude that I have been healed..and gifted with this amazing blessing...and still I say. I am not broken..thank you Jesus..
With Love,
Kristina
I have to give pause to my Jesus..and thank Him for his healing powers..there have been so many pivital moments throughout this journey that I feel truly impacted what miracle did occur.
Pastor Wayne Mancari annointed my head with oil, layed hands on me and prayed over me and my husband in a Sunday service. Nothing distracting. Just a hearfelt, personal prayer that echoes still...it was the only time I was annointed while being prayed over..and while I dont sit here to point out that it didnt happen more than once, I believe that maybe it only needed to happen once. His prayer was fervent, meaningful and true and I thank him for his kindness and willingness to step out in the gap for my husband and I.
When we announced our troubles trying to conceive to our youth group...we did it as a precourser to our blessing. We knew God would come through for us with a pregnancy, we knew this. And we wanted our kids, our youth group to know that prayer works. Even after that service itself several 6th, 7th and 8th graders came up to me and layed hands on me and prayed over me. The faith of these children has moved mountains in our lives...I believe their faith paved the way for this blessing...and we were so greatful to announce this past Sunday that their prayers DID work. We are pregnant. God does hear them. To see that awe and excitement in their eyes..not just for us, but because of what GOD can do...was...just amazing. We love our Mixers :)
Our faithful and loving friends and family who not only lifted us up in prayer but offered tangible support through their faith...we are so greatful. I never felt like I should keep our struggle to conceive a secret..I knew one day, whenever that day would be..that God would come through...and in that, in our blessing...others might also be blessed or encouraged..that's what counts. And in the sharing of the news with family and friends the encouragement was so refreshing..it really helped me on the days I was down....I love you all..from the deepest part of our hearts we are greatful for each of you.
One Sunday a guest speaker Sammy Rodriguez came and spoke a message that penetrated my mind so deep..I had to respond. I say my mind, because in that time..my heart was so weak...I needed it to hit me where I could wrap my brain around what he was saying..I needed to understand it all. I previously blogged about that Sunday and the Word he gave so I wont go in to the details now but...I have never heard the story of the raven and the dove in that way...and it had been so long since I had been on my face, weeping at the alter before God. The Lord did something in me that day..that was huge for me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that...I'm greatful. Greatful for it all, the good and the bad...God grew Chris and I in ways I had prayed for. He has blessed us with our deepest desire and I feel whole..I feel (honestly) sick to my stomach from the pregnancy but I rejoice even in my feeling physically sick :) Because there is life here...not just in the physical but the spiritual. Even in our struggles...in my personal struggles...I had joy & confidence and that cannot come from man or a doctor...God is my source and I just wanna give him all, all ALL the GLORY...
I will leave this blog...I will remember this blog...I will miss it. But--there is a new journey to be written of and I can't wait to start...the two have become three...and we are excited as ever....I will post the link to my new pregnancy/baby/life blog once I have it....
The end of this blog is bittersweet...I leave with good memories of how God has strengthened me...and with gratitude that I have been healed..and gifted with this amazing blessing...and still I say. I am not broken..thank you Jesus..
With Love,
Kristina
Thursday, June 16, 2011
.VICTORY.
Yes! The news is out! Chris and I are expecting!!!
I wrote this, took a picture of it and set it as my wall paper on my phone to give myself some encouragement:
It's just so amazingly unbelievable. To be faced with infertility issues...to just be waiting for another appointment with another doctor...for God to part heaven and say "it is time"....my heart is glad. Only God can do that. We had no medical help...this was ALL God...and He alone gets ALL the Glory....Thank you, thank you, thank you Jesus. Thank you...we are already in love...
I wrote this, took a picture of it and set it as my wall paper on my phone to give myself some encouragement:
Hours later...little did I know...I would get these:
I wanted to take test alone...and then surprise Chris in a cute way on camera..record it and everything..I ended up asking him May 17th 2011 at around 9pm to bring me a pregnancy test..he did..I took it while he was in the shower and that second line showed up immediately!! It kept getting darker..and darker..and darker...and thats all I kept saying, "It's dark...it's really dark...." "I've never SEEN that before?!!!"
It was insane...after months and months and months of not ovulating..no chance at all of getting pregnant..we were waiting just one more month to see a specialist at a fertility clinic..and it happened in that month. No medical help. Nothing. I did get blood work done to see if I had ovulated...expecting yet another negative test and to my complete surprise the test came back positive for ovulation..not only that it was so high my doctor said, "I wonder if you might even be pregnant..." What a thing to say...well..she was right! Because at 11dpo I got my positive test!!
Still so in shock...so greatful..so so so greatful it's overwhelming.
Allow me to introduce Baby Avila Due Jan 28th 2012!
It's just so amazingly unbelievable. To be faced with infertility issues...to just be waiting for another appointment with another doctor...for God to part heaven and say "it is time"....my heart is glad. Only God can do that. We had no medical help...this was ALL God...and He alone gets ALL the Glory....Thank you, thank you, thank you Jesus. Thank you...we are already in love...
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
.hope.
Seeing that stark white pregnancy test can be tough. Knowing that the Lord is still and always has been completely in control is just....comforting to say the least. So many women who struggle with trying to conceive..especially with a lot of medical help can put all their faith and hope in the drugs, treatment, procedure, doctor or even their own body. And if all does not turn out as it should...that hope and faith is shattered into a million little pieces. He heart is broken. Her world is upside down. Her joy has swiftly gone.
In thinking of how easy that mode of thinking and living can be..I am so greatful I have the Lord to lean on. Because my body can fail, medicine and treatments can just not work "this time". Doctors can try their best but are limited to what the medicine can do and what my body decides it can do...I understand this. I understand that if all else fails, the Lord never will. He can't. He just can't. It is not in Him. It is not like Him.
Now that I know those desperate and longing feelings all too well...I pray daily over myself..and the millions of women and men out there struggling with infertility. It isn't easy when you feel you have been betrayed by God or your body or the universe or whatever...it isn't easy because that kind of thinking is so carnal. Instead pray that God give you the strength to not just endure but walk THROUGH what He has willed for your life. I in no way mean to offend anyone and to say that being childless and struggling for years to have a child is in any way is something God made happen to/for you. I am not the one to say any such thing. To perceive how God works is beyond me, that is not my place. But, for me and my husband...we chose to see this as a bad that God can bring so much good out of. No matter what we have to go through in the meantime. Maybe it can bring one, just one person to Christ. Maybe it can bring hope to another couple in the same situation. Maybe it's just going to bring our faith and ministry into a whole other level..
There are a lot of "maybe's" in there...but the one certain-for-sure-no-doubt-in-my-mind fact is that God will come through for us. He always has...He has set that promise in our hearts, that we will be a mami and papi one day :) I can let God handle the rest...He is afterall...Lord of all..
In thinking of how easy that mode of thinking and living can be..I am so greatful I have the Lord to lean on. Because my body can fail, medicine and treatments can just not work "this time". Doctors can try their best but are limited to what the medicine can do and what my body decides it can do...I understand this. I understand that if all else fails, the Lord never will. He can't. He just can't. It is not in Him. It is not like Him.
Now that I know those desperate and longing feelings all too well...I pray daily over myself..and the millions of women and men out there struggling with infertility. It isn't easy when you feel you have been betrayed by God or your body or the universe or whatever...it isn't easy because that kind of thinking is so carnal. Instead pray that God give you the strength to not just endure but walk THROUGH what He has willed for your life. I in no way mean to offend anyone and to say that being childless and struggling for years to have a child is in any way is something God made happen to/for you. I am not the one to say any such thing. To perceive how God works is beyond me, that is not my place. But, for me and my husband...we chose to see this as a bad that God can bring so much good out of. No matter what we have to go through in the meantime. Maybe it can bring one, just one person to Christ. Maybe it can bring hope to another couple in the same situation. Maybe it's just going to bring our faith and ministry into a whole other level..
There are a lot of "maybe's" in there...but the one certain-for-sure-no-doubt-in-my-mind fact is that God will come through for us. He always has...He has set that promise in our hearts, that we will be a mami and papi one day :) I can let God handle the rest...He is afterall...Lord of all..
"And so Lord, where do I put hope? My only hope is in you."-Psalm 39:7
Friday, May 20, 2011
Good Progesterone Test!
Praise God! The progesterone test came back positive :) My levels were at 17 which is really good...my body did it all on its own! This would have been our last month before seeing a specialist at the fertility clinic...now, we can go a few more months on our own! I am expecting my monthly visitor...some time at the end of this month or early next month. My cycles are usually pretty long...so, we'll just have to wait and then try again! But I'm so greatful for the prayers...they at least got me to ovulate on my own!! :)
Thursday, May 19, 2011
My husband started a blog too! :)
Below is his very first posting..So proud of Him. He is a bible college grad, youth pastor and life coach for entertainers & athlete's..Full of life experience and wisdom, I fully expect this to be an amazing project. Check it out! www.mrchrisavila.blogspot.com
I'm Just Sayin': You Were Born On Purpose: "So i officially caved in and started my own blog. So thanks for joining me on this journey and i pray this encourages you and pushes you tow..."
I'm Just Sayin': You Were Born On Purpose: "So i officially caved in and started my own blog. So thanks for joining me on this journey and i pray this encourages you and pushes you tow..."
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sock Sistaaaa's!!
I am a member of this website called TheBump.com. It has boards to post on to get advice, share things etc and I frequently post on Trying To Get Pregnant-TTGP and Trouble Trying To Conceive-T-TTC. Well, on T-TTC or "3T" a "sock buddy" exchange was organized. The gist of it is this: women who are having trouble trying to conceive spend quite a bit of time in stirrups at their OBGYN or RE's office and a lot of the time we are at these appointments alone. With the "sock exchange" you sign up, get assigned a sock buddy and you each send eachother a cute pair of socks. These are to be THE pair of socks you wear to those appointments. When you are on your back & your feet are sitting there in the stirrups you can look at your socks while laying there and even if you are alone in the physical, you are not really alone. Those socks are a reminder that you have someone supporting you and there for you! Practically the whole 3T board took part so we are all here for eachother.
I missed the sign up and so did a few other ladies. One poster suggested we just be eachother's "sock sista's" so we are! We exchanged addresses and sent socks...I sent Crissy hers Friday through SockItToMe.com, two cute pairs :)
And this weekend.....I got mine!!
Yeee!! :D
Message read, "Hope these socks put a smile on your face!! Sock sista's Rock!!!!
Suuuper cute!
I think I might have an ultrasound this week to see how my ovaries are doing so I can wear my socks then!! The doctor will email me some time today or tomorrow hopefully...she thinks I did ovulate, but--elevated progesterone could also mean the cysts are back so its either really good! or....not so good....either I produced an egg finally OR I produced more cysts...we'll find out! Love my socks!! Thanks Crissy!! Totally put a smile on my face!
Sock Sista's!! :)
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